Me, myself and Crumpets.....simply the best!

My obsession with crumpets....where and how do I start?

It's just gone 2 am and I am absolutely gutted.

Why?

Because, after an entire week of going cold turkey, tonight I succumbed to the overpowering voice of temptation inside my head, or 'Crumpet Clive' as I like to call it....and off I headed to the kitchen for some toasted, buttered and spongy delights! The crumpet junky was back...and she meant business.

A few moments later I found myself devastated...

Having reached into the drawer to take out the crumpets..I was horrified to discover that after a week of needless abandonment and neglect.... they were now mouldy....

There goes the midnight feast, I thought to myself......or maybe not. My only consolation was that there were still some croissants in the cupboard and some cheese in the fridge, and so I set about putting together an alternative snack ...which is where the croissants come in...



Twenty minutes, three croissants, a good dose of cheese and some mint kit kats later, I feel my appetite is still not satiated....for alas, there is none that can rival the mighty crumpet...

The cheese helped settle me somewhat, but it's no substitute for the big C. It was a West country, mature cheddar; rich and full bodied.....much like Tina Turner. I contemplated tucking into some brie...only to discover that I had already eaten it the previous night. My will to live fell to a new, all time low....Until, that is, I discovered that there was still some Camembert left...thank God I hadn't seen that the night before

As a recommendation, give the new mint kit kats a try....they have an echo of Burton's Viscount mint biscuits that impressed me. I'm not, however, wholly convinced that I could eat a whole 22 of them in under three days, as I recently did with the original ones (two finger Kit Kats of course).

On reflection, perhaps it was for the best that the Crumpets were mouldy....Afterall, my crumpet detox was going so well.... though admittedly life hasn't been as much fun without them...but isn't that true of most addictions....?


On a final note, I am contemplating doing a sponsored Charity cheese feast in the months to come.....where people will pay me to eat as much cheese as possible. Yes, that's right...I will get paid to eat cheese for 24 hours non-stop.....I'll keep you updated on dates, venue, how to make donations etc...

This is how much cheese I reckon I could get through if I were to do a sponsored cheese feast:




And .......this is what I might look like afterwards, but with darker hair:


Also, any recommendations of cheese that you think I might like would be appreciated.

My recent favourite is Tintern cheese. It's Welsh, Creamy and is made with fresh chives and Shallots. Another one to try is also Welsh, the Black Bomber: an EXTRA mature cheddar, smooth and with a softer texture.

Well, it's time for Bedfordshire now .....eating cheese really takes it out of me...

As for the crumpets...there'll be other times..

Tina Turner, or Bunsen Burner as I like to call her.
Rich and full bodied:




Crumpets: Simply the best